Pops

Today is my Pops birthday. Although he has been gone since 1997, it feels like he died of pancreatic cancer just recently. I am reminded of his influence daily, seeing pops in my guys. Rex has the technical smarts and interest in the creepy stuff my dad loved to watch on 'In Search Of'. Fox seems to have my fathers knack for mathematics and engineering, both of which skipped me like a rock crossing a lake. Both guys are going to be tall, just like their 6'7 grandfather they sadly never met.

I talk a lot about my dad to my boys, I suppose that by doing so they can have a relationship with him. The boys have always asked questions about why they don't have a Grandfather like their friends. At first this line of questioning made me uneasy, but with honesty and care in answering their questions the boys have really gotten to know their Grandfather. Rex always wants to know what his Grandfather would like to do with him. I tell him fishing, working on cars, and more fishing. Fox likes to know that I think he will be as tall if not taller than his Grandpa someday. They like knowing that their grandpop built a hot rod, always wanted a 1950's Ford pick up (in forest green), that he was a HAM radio operator, and his daughters drove him nuts by stealing his white undershirts in the 1980's.

I'm not sure when my sisters and I started calling my dad Pops. I think sometime when I was in high school, trying to be cool, maybe even trying to annoy my dad like a good teenage daughter should. But I know he liked it because he engraved it on the trunk he made for me and Westley for our wedding gift.

On days like today, where I miss my dad more, the guys and I stop for ice cream. I always get butter pecan, my dads favorite flavor. My sisters and I hated it when dad went for ice cream because he would bring home butter pecan. Why not something good like rocky road or double chocolate malted crunch? We would still eat it, but not without complaining. Another pops favorite is Lemon Meringue pie. We always had a beautiful lemon pie for my dad on special days set aside for him. I don't recall any of us girls complaining when that pie was served. Now I connect to my dad via a scoop of ice cream, of his favorite flavor or a slice of Lemon Meringue pie.

So Happy Birthday Pops! You have 5 amazing grand kids that get to hear all of the great stories about you. Today we will all enjoy a scoop of butter pecan or a slice of lemon meringue with you and remember how lucky we are that you were our Pops.

Kindly reminder of love

I turned 45 yesterday. 45. A number that when I was 25 I could not imagine reaching. What would I be doing? Did I accomplish ANYTHING? Would I be happy? Would I be successful? I love that my answers are not so simple. To my 25 year old self I would say, well, you are not the next great Archaeologist, but you grew into an amazing pastry chef who switched gears to teach children who have greater challenges in everyday life than you can imagine. Did I accomplish anything? Sure. I have an amazing family, we love each other and gasp! We actually LIKE each other. If there is a greater accomplishment I would like to hear it. I went back to school after 40 and completed a teaching credential and two masters degrees, all while sitting in a classroom full of 20 and 30 somethings. Am I happy? You bet. Sure there are days I would like to pull the covers over my head and wait for the day to pass me by, but where would that get me? I have the gift of health, of life, and I need to share my joy of just being present. How dare we say we are unhappy when we have so much? Lastly, would I be successful. This one is a challenge in a way because everyone measures success in different ways. Can I afford a new car that I desperately need? Nope, but the big behemoth we refer to as Shreek (because it is ugly and green) can get me to place to place without much hassle. Can we take amazing vacations? Strike two! But we can have fun in our own back yard swimming in the pool we got off of Craigslist. Do I have enough money at the end of the month to sock away in my retirement fund? Holy cow that is so funny I won't even address it! But yes, I am successful. My success comes from my thriving family, my amazing friends, and the relationships I have with my parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all the people I am lucky enough to be part of their lives. So remember to appreciate the years as they tick by, hug the people who bring you joy, and most of all celebrate the fortune of YOU!