Did you see...

"Have you seen (insert recent movie or telivision show with an Aspergers character) ? It was SO funny! " I am certain that these conversation starters are meant to show that after watching the movie or television show, people now have an enhanced understanding of what Aspergers is. At the suggestion of several people I watched Mary and Max. Mary and Max is most certainly a sweet movie, and the story of a life long friendship is endearing. But. While watching the movie I had to think would Mary and Max be life long friends if they lived in the same town? I doubt it. Max's quirks would soon grate on Mary and she would quit answering his calls, and ignore his requests for joining him in an activity. Max would miss Mary, but finally get a clue and realize that she is no longer a friend. I bet that after all the heart ache Max experiences at the loss of his friendship with Mary, that if she called him he would talk to her as if nothing happened. He is that kind of friend.

As I watch my son learn to adapt to a world that he struggles to fit into, my heart aches for him because life long friends have ditched him for bigger, brighter, and perhaps less annoying or embarrassing friends. I teach my guys about compassion, and about being a true friend, so when this started to happen to Rex, he became extremely confused. Why would friends I have known all my life suddenly stop being my friends? In his mind this would never happen to anyone. He is that kind of friend.

Having Aspergers does not really mean anything to our family, sure Rex has it, but it is not ALL of him. Having a diagnosis just gave us more of an acceptance of why certain behaviors that were a little odd just needed to be left alone. He is who he is, and man, the kid is amazing.

I see Rex having such a joy for life, his laugh is loud and infectious, he is caring and loves to have deep conversations with adults. Need to know something about airplanes, WWII, or weapons? He is your guy! Sure some of his interests are odd to his peers, heck they were odd to ME, but he is who he is. Just like Max was who he was. Mary liked him, but from a great distance. What Max was missing was a true friend, and that is what touched me so much about this movie, and what a lot of people have missed.

While Rex adapts to going to school, he is making new relationships with fellow students that he is excited about. What I admire about Rex is his determination to be who he is, and find his own way, with people who will love and accept him. Sadly Max never learned that lesson.